


Kylo's Hidden Femininity

by nursal1060



Series: Kylux (Kylo Ren/Armitage Hux) AUs [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Awesome Phasma, Basketball, Bisexual Character, Boyfriends, Boys in Skirts, Cheerleaders, Crossdressing, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Desire, Domestic, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Evil Space Boyfriends, Femininity, Flashbacks, Forced masculinity, Gender Confusion, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Gender Related, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Kylo Ren, Hair Braiding, Hux is a good boyfriend, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Internalized Homophobia, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren in Love, Kylo Ren in Makeup, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Kylo in a dress, Kylux - Freeform, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Phasma, Lipstick & Lip Gloss, M/M, Makeup, Minor Phasma/Rey, Protective Armitage Hux, Psychoanalysis, Psychological Trauma, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Showers, Sloppy Makeouts, Starbucks, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Young Armitage Hux, accepting hux, details matter!, feminine kylo ren, slightly occ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nursal1060/pseuds/nursal1060
Summary: High schooler Kylo Ren is secretly genderfluid but only wears masculine clothes because he's afraid of being made fun of (like how Han does) but luckily, his boyfriend Hux is there to help him embrace his hidden femininity.





	Kylo's Hidden Femininity

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was something I based off my own gender identity journey years ago, and it was inspired and sketched by my lovely friend @Symphony_Of_Thieves (AKA @I_don't_give_a_Hux on IG). 
> 
> *I feel like there needs to be more fics about Kylo exploring LGBT themes, and so far this is the the only fic I've read with genderfluid kylo (not simply crossdressing) -- if there are others that I DON'T know about, please comment them below! I'd appreciate it <3
> 
> Leave comments and kudos if you enjoy!! :D

 

Kylo “Ben Solo” Ren was the heartthrob of his First Order high school. Every girl in the school talked about him and drew hearts in their binders about him at least at one point in their school career. Every boy talked about him and watched him as he walked through the halls. It wasn’t a surprise. Kylo was from a very wealthy family, he was athletic, very masculine and attractive, and he uncharacteristically respectful for his popularity. He was also openly bisexual, flaunting a bi-pride bracelet on his wrist regularly while he walked around the school with his two best friends. He wasn’t afraid to take part in sports or debate tournaments, going to most school events.

 

He was even voted class favorite and appeared in a special yearbook photo. It was no wonder that every girl wanted him and boys were both curious and envious of his popularity.

 

Unlike them, Kylo was happy to be leaving high school behind as he became a senior. He couldn’t risk anyone learning about the true person he forced to the back of his mind when he was in public. Everyone was aware of his bisexuality, but that was only one of the identities he wore. The other...he was too afraid to let others know.

 

It was only around his friends, Phasma and Hux, after a sports meeting that Kylo let a section of his secret slip, “I wonder what I’d look like in the cheerleader uniform.” It’d been a long practice and they were about to head to the local cafe and go to Kylo’s to do homework.

 

Phasma smiled and chuckled, “I think it looks cute. After all, Rey is such a looker.” She let her eyes connect with the brunette’s, causing the other girl to blush. Phasma had asked Rey out on several dates, with the cheerleader politely declining every time.

 

Hux held his new boyfriend’s hand and looked up from the book that he had been reading during Kylo’s practice, asking, “What do you mean by that?”

 

Kylo quickly shrugged it off, retracting his comment, “I think it’s interesting they can be agile with skirts like that, that’s all.” As Kylo gathered his duffle bag, he looked back at the cheerleaders, watching them twirl and jump in their lovely red and black school uniforms. He wasn’t interested in the girls as much as he was in what they were wearing. He secretly wished he could wear the uniforms and cheerlead once in a while.

 

At their local cafe, Hux ordered his usual iced caffe americano (no sugar or flavoring) and Phasma got a warm cinnamon latte, extra cinnamon syrup. Kylo changed his order based on his feelings, and right now, he wanted something that would make him feel less masculine. He ended up getting a strawberry frappuccino with sprinkles and extra whipped cream. The barista who called his order was a little confused when she saw extra-masculine Kylo, basketball uniform and all, picking up his sweet, pink drink.

 

Phasma commented, “You’re craving sugar?” She was already getting through her mild latte.

 

Kylo nodded, saying, “Yeah, just really warm after that workout and need to cool down.” He felt better lying to his best friends with a bit of truth. Hux raised his eyebrow as he drank his dark coffee. On the way back, he stole a few sips of Kylo’s drink, face wrinkling when he switched from his bitter drink to Kylo’s super sweet one.

 

The teens arrived at Kylo’s house. His parents were at work, as normal, so they were able to get snacks from the fridge and go right up.

 

Hux told him, “Go ahead and shower, we’ll set up the room and start homework.” Kylo kissed him on the cheek, handed him his frappuccino, and got into the shower. As the hot droplets of water ran down his masculine physique, Kylo closed his eyes. 

 

_ NO SON OF MINE WILL WEAR SKIRTS _

 

Kylo opened his eyes and touched the tiles of the shower. His father’s words still rang in his head from the beginning of his high school career.

 

_ I CAN BARELY ACCEPT YOU IDENTIFYING AS BISEXUAL, BUT THIS IS GOING TOO FAR; STOP DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION _

 

Kylo rubbed his eyes and hastily washed his body. As he washed his muscles all over himself, he wished once, just once, that he could be soft and supple and look good in both skirts and pants. As his fingers ran over his legs, he wished that he could shave them and wear something form fitting for once in his life. As he toweled off, he wished his hair was even longer, so he could wear it as a manbun or as a ponytails and buns.

 

Kylo stepped out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror. He identified as bisexual and  _ genderfluid _ , but the later was frowned upon by his family so much, he dared not show anyone else. His father refused to have him show any sign of femininity, which meant that Kylo had begun hating that he looked so masculine. He wanted his family to be proud of him, but he wanted to be true to how he felt inside.

 

Kylo crossed his arms in front of his chest and imagined his body being smaller and less muscular. He felt particularly feminine right now, and would do anything to wear something that made him feel like he was valid. Sighing, he put a pair of shorts and a loose tank top before going back to his friends. 

 

Hux was deep into writing and Phasma was doing calculus. Despite their popularity, they were all smart as well. Kylo sat down and sipped on his melting frappuccino, half paying attention to his book. Phasma left after an hour, as she had chores to help out with that evening.

 

After some time, Hux brought up the comment again, “Are you a fan of skirts, Kylo? I can appreciate that you are bisexual, but you seemed quite interested in the cheerleaders today.”

 

Kylo shrugged, answering with his face in a book, “My mind was wondering, don’t read into it.”

 

Hux put down his paper and walked over to sit on Kylo’s lab, moving his book away. “Something doesn’t feel right with how you’ve been acting. You’ve seemed quite...distant since we’ve left school. What is  _ REALLY _ bothering you? I won’t judge you...you know I love you.” Hux was studying to be a clinical psychiatrist, so to Kylo’s gentle chagrin, Hux couldn’t be deceived with a simple plea.

 

After a sigh and silence between the two, Kylo spoke, “I trust you Hux...I’m afraid the true me will drive you away. You’re gay...you like men...if I’m not a perfect man...then…” 

 

Hux scooted closer and kissed Kylo’s cheek, assuring him, “I may be gay, but I love you more than any superficial label could encompass.” Hux squeezed Kylo’s hand and Kylo fought back tears, looking at his smiling boyfriend. 

 

Kylo stood and turned Hux around to the wall and said nervously, “Just close your eyes. I want to show you the other side of me.” Hux relaxed and stayed facing the wall. Kylo fumbled around in his closet, pulling out boxes until he found one that he’d hidden deep to avoid it being caught. Taking a deep breath, he opened it and began to put on its contents.

 

After minutes of shuffling, Kylo spoke softly, “Alright. Look at me…” Hux opened his eyes and turned to face his boyfriend. Kylo stood in front of him dressed in a sleeveless, short black zip-up dress, striped arm warmers, and fishnet stockings. It was the only feminine outfit he was able to get his hands on and it flattered his figure, but he refused to look at Hux as his boyfriend looked him up and down. 

 

Kylo bit his lip and Hux asked softly, “Alright...what does this outfit make you feel?”

 

Kylo balled his fists and said, “It makes me feel like I can be feminine without fear. I can finally fulfill both the masculine and feminine sides of myself...something that I’ve been craving for a long time.” Kylo looked up at Hux and said, “I’m genderfluid, Hux...and I’ve been hiding this side of myself and feeling feminine and shameful for a long time. I’m so scared...you’ll run away now that you see this side of me.”

 

Hux slowly rose to his feet and asked Kylo as he came closer, “How long have you known?”

 

Kylo shrugged, “A few months after I came out as bisexual. I don’t feel masculine all the time, some days like today I feel very feminine. And some days I feel non-conforming.”

 

Hux stood right in front of him and put his hands on his lover’s shoulders, saying, “Then you should let me know...I can call you the pronouns you feel comfortable with from day to day. I can help you with your hair, and Phasma can help you with makeup.”

 

Kylo looked shocked, asking, “It...doesn’t bother you?”

 

Hux shook his head and assured him, “You’re still you, regardless of how you feel and identify. I’m fine with however you choose to be. In fact, sit down.” Kylo hesitated and sat on the ground. Hux opened his backpack and pulled out the emergency makeup kit that he carried at Phasma’s request. He pulled out a pink hairbrush out and began to comb and tease Kylo’s hair, poofing it out and giving it volume. Kylo’s cheeks flushed pink as Hux parted his hair and began to braid Kylo’s hair, something he’d learned to do for his mother. Once he finished  braid, he looped it and pinned it to Kylo’s head with a bobby pin before repeating the motion on the other side. Looking back in the bag, he found a choker, clipping it around Kylo’s neck. 

 

Then he turned Kylo to him and kept looking in the bag, pulling out a lipstick, “This is the only makeup item I know how to apply. I’m sure Phasma wouldn’t mind.” Hux opened the fiery red lipstick, wiping it on the back of his hand before painting Kylo’s lips on. Then he smiled, “There. I think this will help you feel better.”

 

Kylo stood and looked in his full body mirror. He looked feminine, and his heart felt like it was going to explode. He finally felt feminine, what his body had been craving for and had been deprived of for a long time. Hux stood besides him and Kylo kissed him, leaving a ring of red on his lips. 

 

Kylo asked, “So...can you do my makeup again when I feel feminine? I’m a bit scared to wear this out.”

 

Hux nodded and smiled, “Of course. I’ll get you pale pink nailpolish, tinted lip balm and blusher...you can be feminine and transition slowly into showing our peers. Your father will become accustomed to it, I guarantee. And I will be here every step of the way as you discover your gender identity, Kylo.”

 

Kylo kissed him again, smearing the lipstick, “I love you so much.”

 

Hux smiled back, lips tinted red, “I love you too.”


End file.
